The start of 2009 was a bit shaky to say the least. We were extremely grateful and happy that Jared came home from Korea in time for the holidays. However, we did not realize the reunion would be as rough as it was. It was really hard for me to change gears from being the one who had to be in charge of everything to being a partner again. Chloe was holding a grudge against Jared for being gone and would not give him the time of day (unless the time was full of attitude). Josh was super sensitive (and in many ways still is) and would freak out every time Jared left, wondering if he would really come right back home. Poor Jared was tossed into the middle of all the chaos of family life again after being on his own for so long. It was an adjustment, but we are better than ever now and have a stronger marriage because of all of that craziness.
When Jared came back, I was still majorly in mourning over my puppy, Jack. A child that I was nice enough to watch for a struggling single mom had hit the puppy with a stick and to make a long story short the puppy died in my arms. All of that happened while Jared was away, but when he came back I was still the one being sued by the Humane Society for animal cruelty. So, on top of the mourning, the readjustment issues, and craziness- we then had a lawyer bill that was getting bigger by the second. Luckily within the next couple of months my lawsuit was dropped after they saw how devastated I was and what kind of a person I am. It didn't hurt that the Humane Society was then getting sued for putting dogs to sleep that didn't need to be put down. And this is why every time we pass the Humane Society I make a nice little gesture to show them how much I care. ;)
After the lawsuit was dropped, life started getting MUCH better. One of the best things to happen last year was when my friends Shannon and Danny got married. I got to go to the wedding and be a part of their special day. I'm so glad that everything went perfectly and that they are so happily married.
Josh was in 1st grade to start the year and I volunteered at the school every day. Chloe was my little sidekick that year, helping out and pretty much going through 1st grade too. It was great for all of us. I got to know Tara and Shannon, help the kids that needed it, and watch both of my kids completely blossom before my eyes. I'm grateful to both Tara and Shannon for the wonders they worked with my kids... and now that Josh is in 2nd grade, Shannon is his teacher and continues to be an amazing presence in his life. And Chloe's too, of course. Now Chloe is in Kindergarten and is too smart for her own good (but that's nothing new).
From volunteering at the school so much, when I told the principal that I needed her to be a reference so I could get a job at another school she told me that she would rather I work for her at Bricker. I immediately jumped on the offer with a big, "YES!" Now, I'm a librarian and a reading co-teacher. I'm grateful that I got to continue working with the kids from the beginning of 2009- and all the other kids in the school. I love my job because I love all of the kids. I even dyed my hair blue for them when they reached their goal at the book fair. :)
Many things happened in 2009, but really there were two things that happened that shaped me the most and will from now on have a huge impact on the way that I live my life. They don't seem like good things on the surface, but I assure you that they are.
In the very beginning of August, my Papa passed away. The amazing man that held my family together so long finally went to Heaven to be at peace. Papa had been fighting cancer for as long as I can remember. Even though the cancer finally took over his body, I honestly believe with all my heart that he won the battle. Yes, he beat the cancer. No, he didn't make it into remission for long, and he didn't die cancer free. However, he lived with dignity, strength, courage, honesty, and an unshakable faith. He will forever be immortalized in my heart and by the way we carry on the things that he taught us. It was a hard Christmas. Jared had to run to the store late at night to get new lights for the tree because our tree looked just like Papa's and I couldn't take it. No matter how many weak moments that I have, like the one I just mentioned, I feel him with me. I remember the sound of his voice, the lessons he taught me, and the look on his face when he told me he loved me (and when he told me I was doing the wrong thing). As he was when he was living, Papa is my guiding angel. He is no longer in pain. He is in Heaven with the angels, looking down on us and can maybe now understand just how much I love him. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Right before 2009 ended, something happened that will change so many things forever. I cannot talk about it yet, because of many reasons that I cannot say. What I can say, is that now I know the truth about certain things, I can finally move on. I do not have to worry about not being accepted or anything even remotely like that. I feel stronger, more confident in who I am, and a sweet resolve about the choices I made for my life. For once, I will not be the one crawling back to seek approval that I've just learned is impossible to ever achieve. I feel free, for once, to live my life and completely like who I am.
So, in a nutshell, that was "my 2009" and why I am so glad to leave that year behind.
I fully believe that 2010 will hold amazing things for myself and my little family. Chloe will be turning 6 in a few weeks, Josh will be turning 8 this year, and Jared and I will be celebrating our 9th anniversary in April. We are anxiously awaiting the results for the Coast Guard commissioning board to see if Jared has been accepted into the USCG. Either way, we will be saying good-bye to the USAF and good riddance. We've been doing this for almost 10 years- we know what we're doing... no need to be worried. :) Also, either way, we may be moving this year. If Jared gets into the USCG, we will move wherever they send us. If not, we'll go where the best job offer for Jared takes us. I will be taking college courses on line and also a college reality-Spanish course starting in February at a local school. The kids are getting big and I fully expect lots of shenanigans that you will hear all about.
So, Happy New Year to everyone! So many good things are just around the corner. Enjoy the ride... I know I will! :)
xoxo
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