For a week now, he has been at training. In my mind he has only been at training as if it were just a TDY (temporary duty assignment). Even though I knew better, it's been as if he would be coming right back home. This week has been handled pretty well. The kids did act up a bit but snapped out of it last night. I went along with everything and even got a lot done.
This phone call that I'm waiting for is the one where he says good-bye from his seat in the air plane taking him to his actual deployment. He will be in Qatar. No, it's not Iraq or Afghanistan and yes, he will be safer there and have more privileges. However, no matter how you look at it, he will be gone.
I really thought that by now I'd be better prepared for something like this. For goodness sake- I've been a military wife for close to nine years now. I've been through so many good-byes that I can no longer count them because I can't even remember all of them. I know all the ins and outs of the AF bases and exactly who to call in any crisis. Externally, I'm all ready to do this and get it over with. All my t's are crossed and my i's are dotted. Internally, I'm a roller coaster. I'm alright but lonely. I'm happy but sad he can't be here happy with us. I'm excited to fix up the house, but reluctant because he won't be here to do it with me.
I know that once he is there, settled, and working things will get easier. I'll pick myself up, get out of the house, and get all of my missions accomplished back here at home. It's just the way things go. I'm tougher than I seem, but that doesn't mean that I won't have moments like this during the months to follow. I'm a prior service, military wife- and very proud to be one. I love my husband and will continue to be here to support him through anything and everything that comes our way.
As for right now, though, I'm just waiting for that last call while he is still here in the United States. By the end of that bittersweet phone call, the sweetness will fade and he will be officially deployed. And I'll be here- waiting for that quick e-mail to let me know he is there and safe.
